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Post by Elle Rush on Jun 4, 2007 17:08:19 GMT -5
Okay, let's begin another new Summer Haiku toss. This one is simple: All Haiku's must contain a color (any),
a flower or tree(any), or water. (pond, ocean, lake, river, etc.)
Here's mine:
Secadia's buzz
sirens above trees' rustle
urgent mating call.
~elle '07
Another shot at it:
Winged Cicada's buzz
sirens over trees' rustle;
urgent mating call.
~elle
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Post by AquarianM on Jun 4, 2007 20:11:19 GMT -5
Sorry to nit, Élle - the first word should be spelled "cicada" - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada and has only three syllables. The name is often confused with the word "circadian" as in "circadian rhythm" which refers to the day/night sleep cycle most animals - and people - have. You'll need to edit to add in one syllable on line one. So much for structure, the MESSAGE however, is lovely. My stab at it: Palms sway gently high, Orchids garnish beach dinner, Hawaii seas call. Dan |
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Post by Elle Rush on Jun 5, 2007 12:51:00 GMT -5
Well, shitska! LOL.. although I am familiar with the word circadian.. like circadian rhythm, featured in an rem song (although my spelling of that word was botched in my head, too!), I didn't know that cicada was such.... bummer.. well, that's what I get for not double checking.. I watched a program about them, but obviously I was wrong about how to spell 'em  and man, are they noisy here!! I'll come back & rework it. Yours, on the other hand, is great! |
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Post by AquarianM on Jun 6, 2007 1:08:08 GMT -5
Suggestion: Cicadas buzzing - there's the missing syllable, same meaning. Not that major a difference. I'm just a notoriously good speller. If you see a typo in my work, 99% of the time it's my fat-finger typing and not doing a good proof read.
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Post by Elle Rush on Jun 6, 2007 9:52:57 GMT -5
LOL, well that's just it.. usually, I, too am a pretty darn good speller.... to the point that I rarely check spellings even when I should (wink) |
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Post by Ken Corbett on Jul 13, 2007 11:34:15 GMT -5
Tides rush, ebb and swell
Breaking mountains down to sand
geologic time
Ken
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Post by Elle Rush on Jul 24, 2007 20:48:33 GMT -5
Very pretty, Ken....
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Post by PoetOfSerendipity on Aug 28, 2007 13:46:03 GMT -5
A soft azure ocean
lapping at toes in the sand
ahh.. serenity
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Post by PoetOfSerendipity on Aug 28, 2007 13:53:06 GMT -5
Wisteria Blossum
Inhaling soft purple hues
Satisfying senses
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Post by AquarianM on Aug 28, 2007 15:47:16 GMT -5
Wonder Atlantis,
At summers last days fading,
Plum tree has blossoms.
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and man, are they noisy here!!
