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Post by Elle Rush on Mar 22, 2004 16:37:22 GMT -5
Same concept as Haiku Toss, only it should be in a Spring season related subject.....
Green, warmth, seedlings dance,
nature; a mirror for sun,
Spring's wondrous solstice.
elle rush
Solstice is the word that begins the Toss:
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Post by grouchmuffin on May 27, 2004 15:20:51 GMT -5
Solstice, springtime's breath
warms the frigid winter air
restores earth to green
Is this how the toss is supposed to work?
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Post by Elle Rush on Jun 22, 2004 11:05:02 GMT -5
Perfect, Grouch!
Let's continue the same thread, only now with the Summer season~
Green sea, solstice moon
lovers under starry skies,
awake until dawn.
elle rush
I also thought maybe hugging until dawn in the last line .... hugging until dawn... Awake until dawn....not certain which I like better there? Opinions?
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Post by grouchmuffin on Jun 22, 2004 11:51:10 GMT -5
Elle, I like awake until dawn better-for 2 reasons.  First, because I think it is more realistic and second, I think the flow is nicer. Just my 2 cents. Good job!  |
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Post by grouchmuffin on Jun 22, 2004 11:57:15 GMT -5
Dawn arrives early
to wake the sleeping giant
crimson sphere of fire
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Post by PoetOfSerendipity on Jun 15, 2005 21:33:39 GMT -5
Elle.... I like awake until dawn better.. but also thought of ending "becoming as one"..but hey..that's just cause I'm such a romantic..
igniting the world
cleansing, no certain future
what will be, will be
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Post by Ken Corbett on Jul 11, 2005 20:28:28 GMT -5
what will be, will be
I cast my fate to the wind
walk into the night
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Post by Solace512 on Jul 12, 2005 9:47:09 GMT -5
walk into the night
glance up at the glowing moon
take in its beauty
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Post by Elle Rush on Jul 12, 2005 11:59:09 GMT -5
You all are a bunch of hopeless romantics! I LIKE! Take in it's beauty, this night that veils our true hearts, come dawn, you will know. |
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Post by Solace512 on Jul 13, 2005 9:20:37 GMT -5
come dawn, you will know
the passion you felt last night
was real, not a dream
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Post by Solace512 on Jul 14, 2005 9:46:50 GMT -5
was real, not a dream
you said on that summer day
our love was strong, true
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Post by PoetOfSerendipity on Jul 15, 2005 12:20:21 GMT -5
our love was strong, true
a taste of outlaw passion
serendipitous
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First, because I think it is more realistic and second, I think the flow is nicer. Just my 2 cents. Good job! 
