Guide me home

[PoetOfSerendipity]

I'm not sure I'm satisfied with the title on this one, also I wanted to add a last verse that brought me home.. but I couldn't get one that felt right to me. Hope you enjoy....

Guide me home

without a beacon to guide me
I feel tossed and lost in the storm
I have a compass to guide me
but it can’t tell me the way home

my thoughts are no clearer than my sight
as I squint through the torrents of rain
despite my desperate plight
my first thought is will I see you again

the smiles and the laughter we’ve shared,
precious gifts not easily forgotten
nor are the quiet moments
when our hearts said even more

staring at my compass and charts
hoping dead reckoning is not aptly named
waiting for the storm to break
softly speaking your name

[Ken Corbett]

Dippity,

I enjoyed it, thanks. The message is well-expressed, and the storm-tossed mariner metaphor is clear and enjoyable.

I thought the rhythm was better near the start of the piece, a little shaky towards the third and fourth stanzas.

"despite my desperate situation"
Situation is not a poetic word, in my opinion. If you don't mind the rhyme, I might suggest "plight." It also fits the cadence of the verse better.

Regards,

Ken

[Elle Rush]

Poet, it is beautiful, so uniquely so....
I adore the sentiment and heartfelt introspection... the 2nd stanza is amazing... the entire piece is so well expressed. It is a beautiful poem, may perhaps should find it's way to the person the energy is directed to? Surely they could not turn away from THIS.
Hugs to you for writing it, and hugs to you just because.
Excellent.

[david]

Ditto, Elle...

Poet, this is full of love. You can always tell when something is straight from the heart. Nice work

[PoetOfSerendipity]

Thanks guys!! Ken.. I agree with you on the cadence.. the last 2 lines of the 2nd verse and the entire 3rd verse said exactly what I wanted to say, but didn't flow like I wanted them to. I made 2 minor changes and it feels better.. I may work on it more. Did anyone miss not having that final verse?? .....I seems to always like to make a happy ending.. but maybe it's better left dangling as it is??

[Solace512]

aw, lovely write! I've always loved lighthouse imagery...that feeling of being lost, weathering the storm and making it back to safety all with a little guidance. I love the whole thing, however, the last stanza really struck me. I kind of like how it ends, still with that yearning to make it through.