cut like paper

[Solace512]

cut like paper:

i wanted you to cut me up like paper
and glue me back into something
lovely, something so beautiful
i don't feel so pretty anymore
like i used to,
when you'd look at me
with those big brown eyes
and stare deep into my soul
i miss that...
what happened between us?
did i not kiss you long enough?
did i not hold you as close as you needed to be held?
maybe i made a mistake in thinking
we had something special
you cut me up like paper
and then you tossed me away

[Ken Corbett]

Nicely written, you have a clear and easy style. It's nice to see your thoughts and feelings without having to guess. Your paper cut imagery is fresh and easy to grasp, and I like how you held onto this imagery to the end of the piece.

I might suggest breaking line 2 after lovely. Awkward line breaks can be distracting, I think the poet should keep one thought or complete fragment to one line. I, the reader, appreciate that.

Ken

[PoetOfSerendipity]

Solace.. you put emotions into words sooo well. Thanks.. it hurts good!

Mike

[Solace512]

Ken, I agree the line break is distracting. I'll remember what you said about breaking the line after the word lovely, if I ever choose to post this piece again. Thanks!

Poet, thanks for the compliment. I haven't written anything in quite a while. This was just something that kind of came to me after recent events. Thanks again though!

[Elle Rush]

Well, for not writing in awhile, you've written in a way that I can't help but to feel your hurt...
put it into something good, just as you have done here. It's not only beautiful and helpful to others going through heartache, but it's therapeutic for you, too. well-done.