soul dance

[daemona]

Let our souls dance
interwined
from alpha to omega
from this world to the next world;
then let them restart
more lively, more open
than ever before;
with new laughter in our eyes
with reborn desire on our lips;
enjoying more spirals of passion.

How could I ever define
"joyous", "peaceful"
"ecstatic", "complete"
without mentioning your name?

A sun
that leaves you
in shadow
could never warm me
even if it was shining
above my body with a thousand rays!

[Elle Rush]

This is gorgeous... many awesome lines & an overall etheral feel. Super!!!

[Ken Corbett]

daemona,

I really like the last image. I might drop the ! at the end, as the clarity of the image speaks for itself, the ! is not needed. This freshness lets me see both you and your friend in sunlight.

Too many "mores" in the first paragraph, I feel. They weaken your imagery, as they are empty measures. You might lose one or two....

I enjoyed this very much, despite my minor comments, which I hope you don't mind.

Ken

[daemona]

thank you both

Ken Corbett: i don´t mind your comments at all, I take them as advise not as an offense, which I know they´re not.
I had the same feeling about the "more"´s while writing but couldn´t think of another word to use...so in some ways letting it stand like this was some kind of lazyness on my account lol

[Solace512]

this is beautiful...I especially love the middle stanza.