daemona
Avid Muse
Life is full of hidden secrets
Posts: 216
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Post by daemona on Jul 7, 2005 14:12:03 GMT -5
My thoughts hidden behind a thick wall, as I´m secretly desiring you to call; the silence inside reflects your voice, the dark timbre that made my passions rise, what I found in your speech, can I find it in your eyes?
The words that I wrote are not the same i would speak, they seem to come less from my heart and there´s so much more they leak; sounds that i hear make communication less calm, they make me clearly envision your breath and kisses so warm.
The sheet on my bed and the sheet in my fingers, send my mind back to where the memory of our delicious game lingers.
We find each other at misty spaces and risky places, your sweet tasting presence is what my dreaming embraces.
To love you or not I have no choice, the silence inside reflects your voice!
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Post by Elle Rush on Jul 7, 2005 23:16:04 GMT -5
There is an internal anthem driving along here... it has a shakesperean and yet vapor -like quality that's hard to explain. I like the lines: " the dark timbre that made my passions rise, what I found in your speech, can I find it in your eyes"
in the first stanza... it's almost as if you loved the dark horse.. or some forbidden, scary soul...
but, then...love is pretty scary in general, isn't it?
I also feel the zen-like metered rhythm & rhyme pattern. Tantric.
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daemona
Avid Muse
Life is full of hidden secrets
Posts: 216
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Post by daemona on Jul 8, 2005 8:36:37 GMT -5
oh yeah love definately is scary at times....just have a look on what it does to us and how it affects our action... lol and yes you´re right this is about a person who´s different than most people i know and of whom they (on a superficial level though) probably wouldn´t advise me to be with...so it´s also about not wanting to share the experiences and the thoughts regarding this relationship yet, because of being afraid that others critique might only call rainclouds to a sky that (subjectivly seen) has been clear and sunny so far....(but i think i shoudln´t get into all this personal stuff now lol) so again thanks for taking the time to read and comment...it´s always insightful and though it might sound strange it makes me learn new things about the poems myself
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Post by PoetOfSerendipity on Jul 10, 2005 20:48:31 GMT -5
I always learn new things about myself when I'm writing poetry.. sometimes what comes out surprises me.. and makes me realize there was something there I hadn't admitted even to myself.
Thanks for sharing such a personal part of you!
Poet
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Post by Solace512 on Jul 11, 2005 8:28:11 GMT -5
I love this. It has a dark kinda feel to it, as if the one you loved was a forbidden kind of love like in the movies where a nice sweet girl falls for the rebellious and mysterious hunk. (haha) You have a great poem here-lovely expression. The first stanza was my favorite part. Great writing here!
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daemona
Avid Muse
Life is full of hidden secrets
Posts: 216
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Post by daemona on Jul 11, 2005 10:51:59 GMT -5
and sometimes the "nice sweet girl" has more in common with the "rebellious hunk" than anyone might think
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