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Post by RamirezGhost on Mar 21, 2003 11:53:36 GMT -5
My life ends here where rivers distend,
mountains twist circles; in the white
where my eyes first turned up, back
lashing; as my arms make nail beds
and the sinew that grays my bones.
October hid beneath a rock knowing
its harvest and death were not needed.
I become a girl too many times laid down.
hair shortened, a bone blonde; my face
tightens to my sick jaw.
And I am beat. And I am beat.
My life is dropped to the river’s heart,
I grow estranged in its arteries.
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Post by Elle Rush on Mar 21, 2003 14:55:03 GMT -5
Powerful piece. I have to look up "distend" I keep wanting to say "descend" or "dissent" need to know the weight of that word. Many poignant references, some angry, violated...
These last two lines are killer!:
My life is dropped to the river’s heart,
I grow estranged in its arteries.
This is another I'll be back for more reading. Gotta go find that word first!
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Post by Elle Rush on Mar 22, 2003 3:31:26 GMT -5
I looked up distend..... I'm sure I had heard or known that word, I just kept getting it confused with another.
NICE word! Awesome piece.
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Post by Randacello (MirandaRae) on Mar 22, 2003 3:56:24 GMT -5
Very powerful and poignant. The images gave me a completely defeated and desolate feeling especially the second stanza; I really like how you have those two lines set off by themselves to emphasize the point.
Miranda
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Post by Randacello (MirandaRae) on Mar 22, 2003 3:59:31 GMT -5
PS Elle, I once scored 72 points in a Scrabble game for opening with DISTEND Ain't I a show off?  Miranda |
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Roadpan
Avid Muse
The Essential Pegasus
Posts: 111
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Post by Roadpan on Mar 24, 2003 18:01:16 GMT -5
Both this poem and Scrabble are pretty darn cool.
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Post by Elle Rush on Mar 24, 2003 18:07:02 GMT -5
LOL, @manders & scrabble... agree this is such a cool piece, Mr. Ghost... (I'll stop calling you that if it bothers you....lol)
I'm not surprised, Manders-- ya kicked my butt @ scrabble! I'm waiting for our chance to play again. Maybe we could get some kind of a tourney of mystic muse scrabble players on a regular night or something?
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Post by RamirezGhost on Mar 24, 2003 18:24:37 GMT -5
Thank you all for reading.
Scrabble...hmm...I'll never play again. Too many drunken games involving made-up words.
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Post by hawkspoet on Apr 17, 2003 21:07:09 GMT -5
this is such an awesome piece of writing.......
I feel lost and sad when I read these words......
thank you for reading another door to meet you more
and for your comments..... I am working on something that might just make you have closure for this piece
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Post by AquarianM on Oct 29, 2004 14:35:27 GMT -5
Sounds a bit like reincarnation with loads of rough karma - spooky thinkin' there...
Dan
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