david
Avid Muse
Posts: 182
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Post by david on Feb 11, 2005 13:02:50 GMT -5
Let me say that these were all written before I had any real knowledge of haiku, other than the basic 575 format. I've been studying the form since then, and have other pieces underway.
In other words, these were written by an ignorant rookie! Still, maybe there's something worthwhile in the bunch - even if I did break most of the rules...
The Cemetery
Gravestones jutting from the earth, like teeth waiting to consume the living.
My Son
Looking in to his eyes, his face; the youth that once was mine is now his.
Sunrise
Sunlight cresting the horizon, warm rays caress my face in greeting.
Love
Love slips up on the heart, like a golden band slides onto a finger.
Cat Grey cat slinks across the windowsill, hoping his lunch won't fly away.
Autumn Colors burn across the valley, lighting the trees with a fiery glow
Dog
Silly dog barking at shadows in the moonlight, nothing runs from him.
Television
Talking box stares back, hypnotizing me with its solitary eye.
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Post by Elle Rush on Feb 11, 2005 21:12:54 GMT -5
Oh, I like! I like them all, really. Clever and witty. Some of the best stuff comes right at first.
Thank you for sharing- I'll be sure to come back to read them all again.
I like the last, television... this age of media and technology.... not all good for the soul.
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Post by Solace512 on Feb 20, 2005 16:02:16 GMT -5
charming haikus!
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daemona
Avid Muse
Life is full of hidden secrets
Posts: 216
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Post by daemona on Jul 12, 2005 8:52:06 GMT -5
I too think they´re very good for first attempts..you got a talent here...keep trying this new path out! my favorites are the cementary and sunrise... theý´re both very beautiful in their own special way
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david
Avid Muse
Posts: 182
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Post by david on Nov 17, 2005 14:30:17 GMT -5
Thank you, Daemona. I'd been gone a while and didn't realize until today that you had seen these. Seems like such a long time ago, and I apologize for not responding sooner. I really appreciate your kind words.
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